I truly never thought this day would come so fast! My first daughter going off to college...2000 miles away from our home.
I am so blessed to have been able to take Kinsey down to college in Provo Utah, to get her settled at Brigham Young University. We had been on family vacation to see my family for the past three weeks in Farmington Utah, and so as school approached, the rest of my family had to return to Florida with John, and I stayed behind to get Kinsey moved into the dorms. This was a HARD thing...dropping off my first born beautiful daughter. I was so happy that she was achieving her dream and that she had gotten into her first pick school, and so proud of her academic achievements. I was so excited for all the new experiences that she was going to have. But all those years when I was imagining this... I never realized how heart wrenching it would be at the same time. Just when this beautiful daughter of mine is about to experience so many amazing things...she will be so far away from me, and we will all miss her SO MUCH. But what a fun three days we had together getting her settled in. Time I will always treasure.
We went down to BYU three days before the actual dorm "move-in" date. Kinsey got a job as a BYU campus operator (which is a huge blessing and miracle in and of itself...thank you Alexa Slaughter for the tip), and so Kinsey had to be to campus early for training and to work. So we paid a little extra to move in three days early to the dorms. It ended up being really nice to move in all of her stuff without all the other girls trying to move in too. There were a few girls in the dorms, including two of her friends from Florida, but mostly empty. We brought in box after box and suitcases galore. Kinsey was SURE she had brought too much stuff, but once we got it all put away, it was just right. Luckily we traveled on SouthWest Airlines where we had a lot of suitcase allowances to get all her stuff there.
Kinsey and I had gone shopping once we got to Utah to get her bedding. Then we shopped for material and she made these darling pillows and the board on the wall. I had surprised her with a few extra decorations as well. It was SO MUCH FUN to do all of this with her. Her room turned out to be SO CUTE! So homey, and inviting, and we found a way to make all of her clothing fit. Her room has an amazing view of the mountains and the alumni building. She chose it especially for that. I would love to look at that view each morning.
So we got all moved in on the first day, and then she went to work for a few hours while I shopped (and cried...seriously...the thought of leaving without her was getting worse and worse), and then we ran more errands, walked all over campus to get her books, ate out, and then went back to get her more organized. I was going to spend the nights at my friend Onna's house who lives about 20 min away from Provo. But the first night, there was no one around in the dorms, and Kinsey said..."Mom, you should just stay here. It would be so fun". I'm so glad I stayed. It was a wonderful memory to be in the dorms with my daughter, watch a movie with her on her computer, eat some warmed up pasta, and then sleep in her roommates bed. The next morning when I woke up and looked out at that beautiful view, I felt like now I would know what it was like for Kinsey each morning.
Being on the BYU campus with Kinsey threw me into SUCH nostalgic mood. This is MY CAMPUS, from 24 years ago. So many memories of being a Freshman came back to me. The excitement of the school year, the excitement of meeting new people, the excitement of moving away from home. I met my first love my Freshman year. I met life long friends. It was a start of a wonderful college experience, and I knew it would be that for Kinsey too. All the harder for me to be so far away in Florida.
I spent two days with Kinsey getting her settled and hanging out, in between her working schedule. I did stay with Onna Oliver the second night, and that was truly a good thing. An old friend, who also has a boy going away to college, and we cried on each others shoulders. The third day, I met Kinsey back at her dorm after her morning work shift. I wanted to meet her roommate before I left, and make sure she was totally settled. Everyone was moving in that day, and it was chaos. So glad we did it early. But YES, we got to finally meet Paige Peterson, who Kinsey had already been talking to on Facebook. SHE IS WONDERFUL! Oh I sighed a huge sigh of relief to know that my sweet girl has such a wonderful roommate. We met her and her mom and they were just so fun and so sweet. Kinsey and Paige seem like two peas in a pod! Smart beautiful girls who have a great work ethic. Sweet girls!
So after wandering around a little more for me to point out all the cute boys that were looking at Kinsey (oh...you can imagine how much she loved that. What an embarrassing mom), it was time to say goodbye. By then I could tell that Kinsey was really wanting to be on her own, meet new friends, and get out to the "mixer" that was going on outside. We had already had some really sweet moments saying goodbye before this last moment, so it was not filled with tears. I could tell it was filled with excitement for my girl. So I walked out to my car holding it together, watching her run off to the party with her new friends.
I got in my car, and this was my view. I remember this view well because I COULD NOT DRIVE AWAY. I was so sad, and it just seemed so hard to be flying 2000 miles away the next morning, so I just sat there and stared at those mountains for 45 mins. I texted back and forth with John, telling him what bad shape I was in. He "got it" as he had experienced his own little break down session when he said goodbye to her. I finally drove away, but still drove around campus for a while and took some pictures of the setting sun...as I cried. I am SO happy for Kinsey!!! I am just not dealing well with the fact that my family is changing. I have four kids for a reason. I WANTED 4 kids. So now I just have 3 at home. It just doesn't seem right. Life is going to seem so different.
So to finish up this bright and happy post :) ..... I want to state that I would never want Kinsey to stay home for college. I would never want her to give up her dream just so our family would not change. I guess I just needed to have my "mourning" for the change in our lives. It has been a hard year anticipating this and I cried more times than I would ever imagine. Now I just need to deal with it and see the wonderful opportunities my daughter is having. We will still have special times together. I think if I lived closer, this would not be quite so hard. I remember every detail of raising Kinsey. I remember her as a baby as if it were yesterday...as cliche as that might sound. I remember the joy she brought to my life as I became a mother for the first time. It is just hard to see her go...but I know she has become an amazing young woman. A girl that is humble and smart and close to her Heavenly Father. A girl that has such high standards and a girl that is pure and clean. I am SO proud of her. So excited for what the future might bring.
